I asked Jesus to come into my heart and life when I was 5 years old. I had been and have been in the church all my life. I’m now in my 5o’s (not too far in yet) and have recently had what I can only describe as “a crisis of faith”.
Robert and I recently left the church that I had attended all my life and have started going to another great church where we seem to be putting roots down again. But in the few weeks after leaving the church that had been such a big part of my life and for so long, I began to question what my faith had been in. Was it really in the God whom I had known all my life since 5 years of age, or was it in the church and all that is involved in it? The people, the services, the worship, the programmes, like Alpha etc. that we were involved in.
Having been in the church all my life, I was fairly sheltered from the big bad world and never got involved in any wild living. Not to say I wasn’t tempted at times, but is was the rollicking that I knew I would get from Mum if she caught me smoking or drinking that stopped me. So you could say it was the wrath of Mother more than the wrath of God that I feared.
So up until a few months ago I would always thank the Lord for not only saving me but for keeping me all these years, because who knows where I might have been if I had wandered off.
More recently, due to my “crisis of faith”, (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it) I’ve been dabbling with the idea that I might have been better to have got caught up in the alcohol and drugs scene, so that when I did get rescued from it all, by Jesus Christ’s death on the cross, I would have been rescued from something and I would know the life changing power of God in my life.
This morning in church during the communion service, I had to repent of this idea, because Pastor was speaking about this very thing. You see, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been saved all your life or only for a short while. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been saved from a dreadful life or have been saved from a normal/good life. The fact is you’re saved. And not only from your past, but from things that might happen today or tomorrow. The fact that my life is in God’s hands means that I have the strength and power, through Jesus Christ, to make good decisions for my life and keep me safe and saved. I haven’t always got it right and I’m sure I’ll make more dodgy decisions before I’m done, things that are not in line with what God would have me do, but I’m still saved and forgiveness is there for me when I do get it wrong.
So, I’m back to thanking God wholeheartedly, for saving me as a child, keeping me up until now and the knowledge that I know I’ll be kept in the future.
I just love being a kept woman!