9 – It’s nice when it stops

Yesterday I did a lot. It was a really good day. I was moving about from about 10 o’clock until about 4 o’clock, but I was able to get around well because I didn’t have to stand or walk and I was whizzing about in my wheelchair. I am getting quite good at steering with it, doing fancy reverse turns and getting up quite a good speed. So far I have only knocked down 3 people, but there were no serious injuries – and it was their fault anyway!

Then, in the evening two pals came round and we had a Chinese takeaway and a good laugh.

Brilliant day! Except for the fact that it was too much. That is why the pain kicked in, I’m sure. I went to bed and the pain went with me – I stupidly thought it would stay downstairs, but no. Of course, getting ready for bed involves a bit of standing and walking, so it got worse. I took my emergency meds, but they didn’t do much good. Eventually I got to a sleep which was disturbed by pain.

This morning when I wakened, the pain had gone. What a pleasure! That is the only good thing about pain – it really is wonderful when it stops! It makes me so happy! I know I’m just a guy and I’m not tough like all you women out there – you grin and bear it – I have to bear it and then I grin when its stops. In fact, I laugh!

And this morning I laughed. But then I got up and started my shower and getting dressed routine, which also involves standing. But there are bits when I can sit down and it’s nice because the pain stops. And I laugh.

It’s nice when it stops.

My breakfast routine is now a joy, because Libby bought me a stool which has adjustable height and wheels, so I can whizz about the kitchen, not even having to worry about whether I can stand long enough to cut up a banana before the pain gets me – I just sit there and do it. Life is wonderful, and I laugh!

But that is the thing I want to talk about. It’s not just nice when bad things stop, it’s wonderful when even little, insignificant things start.

Decades ago, Joni Mitchell sang the song Big Yellow Taxi and one of the lines was, “Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone?”

That has been my life. There have been some amazing times which I have relished and rejoiced in, like meeting Libby, like being with my children and grandchildren. I have been so grateful for all of them. There have been some bad times, which have been nice when they stopped.

There have also been a lot of ordinary things, like being able to stand up and walk across a kitchen and make a bowl of cereal and sliced banana – and I have just taken them for granted, for normal, without any trace of appreciation! I didn’t know I had them till they were gone.

In the Lord’s prayer it doesn’t say, ” Give us a Tesla, a new TV and £500 to pay that bill,” it says, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Just a wee thing, just the basics. The trouble is that we really don’t appreciate the basics.

I am learning to, but first I need to see what they are. They are some of the smallest things in life, like making breakfast. Small things like getting a short message from a friend. Small things like being able to get out of the house, which so many people can’t do. I don’t want to waste any more things and only discover that I had them after they have gone!

I’m looking for all the little good things now. They are very easy to find!