5 – Waiting Still

I have a special friend who has a dog. Angus isn’t just any dog. Angus is a springer spaniel. Those of you who have ever been in contact with a springer spaniel will know that Angus is different. Angus is a nutter.

Until my health took a turn, I used to take Angus out for the occasional long walk. It wasn’t long for me – about 4 miles – but Angus would cover 15 miles or more during the same walk, because Angus really is an utter nutter! He is a pleasure to take out, because I can let him off the lead and he goes everywhere but always stays around me. He runs like mad, he belly-flops into water and swims, and in very long grass he will occasionally fly a metre in the air to see where he is.

Angus only knows three little words. They are not “I love you” because Angus isn’t that type. The three words Angus knows are Here, Away, Wait.

When I shout Here, Angus comes to me and when I say Away, he runs off. It’s the Wait command that is the funny one, though. Angus does wait, but it’s totally different to what you expect. You may have thought that springer spaniels get their name because they spring, like he does in the long grass. No. Springer spaniels actually have a spring inside them. When I tell Angus to wait, I can actually see that spring winding up. It gets tighter and tighter and tighter. When I say Away, the spring is sprung and he is off like a shot, desperately trying to break the speed of light so that he can get back the 10 seconds he has waited for!

Since I first went to the doctor with my problems, I have had to wait for appointments and the waiting has been hard. Most of the time the appointment has come though pretty quickly – from the urgent referral by the GP to seeing the Consultant was only 10 days, which is below the target of 14 days. I also got a CT scan fairly quickly. But waiting can be hard and can seem like ages.

By yesterday, I still hadn’t heard about my MRI or my referral to another consultant. I called the secretary and was put through to an answer machine. I called another and got the same. I called MRI and they were still waiting for a response from my consultant. I called the referral management service and they had no record of any referral to another consultant. I called the secretary again and left a message saying that I was not pleased and something had to be done. I got a call back soon after and put my this-has-to-be-fixed-or-else voice on. I was tired of waiting.

Suddenly everything started to happen. I was getting calls every few minutes, many of them while I was still on another call. Things were being done, and the situation was moving faster than Angus on the Away command.

One of the calls was my consultant giving me the results of the CT scan. It wasn’t good news. There are things showing up which need investigation. I am booked in for a biopsy of a lymph node on Monday and they will also do another minor op at the same time. It’s only a few days away, but it’s a few days of waiting. Then I will have to wait for the results.

We all have to wait for something. Sometimes it’s something which is worth waiting for, sometimes, like me now, it’s something that you know might not want. There is no alternative. you have to wait.

Be still, and know that I am God!
(Psalm 46:10)

This is one of my favourite verses in the Bible, because it says so much in just a few words. It’s not just advice or a word of wisdom though. It’s a command. It’s an order. Be still!

Imagine a wide river on a calm summer day. The surface of the river is calm. It doesn’t have a ripple. It doesn’t seem to be moving. It is totally still. It is such a peaceful image. But it isn’t just stuck there. You know that it is a river, not a lake. It is moving onwards towards the sea, part of the cycle of life.

When God tells me to be still, that is the way I want to be – absolutely calm but moving forward. Peaceful. Full of peace. Still alive, still moving forward. The next few days are days of waiting. At the end of them there might be good news, there might be bad news, but during these days of waiting I am not going to let the spring wind up in me. I am going to do what God tells me to do – I am going to be still.

I am also going to do what the rest of the verse says. I am going to know that He is God! Because He is God, because I know that he is my  God, I can be still!

Perhaps there is something in your life where you are waiting, something where you need to be still. All you need to do is to turn to God. He is waiting too.