Christianity

Altar ego

Christianity

But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. (Matthew 6:6)
Holy Bible, New Living Translation

There is no doubt about it, we are complex beings. It is a delight to know that we are all different, physically, emotionally, mentally. I am sure there are many people who are overjoyed that they are not like me, and I have to say that the feeling is probably reciprocal! But we are even more complex than that, because I know for one that I am even different from myself at times.

a Photoshop manipulation of my photo, doubling me

I am not what you think!

Eh? What?

Well, I am. I have an alter ego, another me. I have quite a few of them, actually, but – at the risk of getting really complicated and carrying this too far – I am sure I am not alone!

There is an outside me, and an inside me, for instance. The person that people see is not the whole me, it is just the outside me, the me that I want people to see, the me who smiles and is glad to see everyone. Then there is the inside me, the me that wants to be alone. There is the good Christian me, but then there is the bad sinner me – I won’t elaborate on that one, you can do it! There is the thinking me and the speaking me – on a very few occasions these two actually coincide!

There is a me that perhaps even I don’t see, because there are parts of me I don’t want to see, or am too blind to see.

But the Father sees them. He sees all the types of me, he knows them and yet he still loves me!

Why do I try to hide so much of me from you, from the people around me, even from myself? Even worse, why do I try to hide me from the Father, my creator, my lover? Why do I so often go before him with my alter ego, the not me? I have to go to him with my altar ego, the one which is honest and true, the one which is neither concerned with what others might think, nor of what he might think, the me that my Father knows.

Then he will reward me.

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